Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl P.
The cycles grow long for one who awaits the arrival of a child. Restless and weary of being without her friends, Mna’s mind wanders to diversions…..
M’na had grown large and uncomfortable; and even in her excitement over the birth of another child, she was agitated, impatient. She could sense the moment was drawing closer for the infant to arrive. Her mind knew the truth of her situation but her emotions were shouting over it; and the Mother of Domhan longed to hear a female voice other than her own. She missed Mother Bandia so much. It was comforting to see the Great Owl and know that she was not alone, but the closeness of the Goddess’s ethereal form, her voice and her Essence were starkly missing. The feminine essence of Existence was so communal. It needed nurturing and the brief visit to Eagna’s was only a brief moment of joy for Mna. She felt Fireann had done enough work, all was ready for the infant’s arrival, and she knew her beloved missed the company of his male friends also A young son is a precious gift; but Fireann seemed lost since Eolas stopped visiting the Garden, so deeply engrossed in the work he was doing in the land of Juntos. Mna’s thoughts raced. Why couldn’t they make the journey to see Eagna and Naofa again? All was unfolding as it was hoped. There wasn’t even a hint of the dark rift visible in Amhain, that imperfect seat of doubt and fear that seemed such a threat to human existence. Her son showed no sign of such an imperfection. Mna knew in her heart that things were turning back to perfection within Creation. so she began planning another journey and plotting how she could convince Fireann to agree as she cleaned their home yet again, arranging and rearranging things. Surely he would not deny her the very thing which would make her happy. She hummed as she dragged the infant bed into yet a new spot, now closer to their bed.
She was just getting it into place when the floor began to move beneath her feet. She grasped the nearby window ledge to steady herself. Feeling light headed, Mna moved to the bed and sat down slowly, taking deep breaths and rubbing her belly. Surely this would pass, she assured herself. She merely got too heated in her work, too excited over the idea of a making another journey. Mna put her head in her hands and leaned over her knees, but the dizziness increased, forcing her to lie down on the bed on her side, facing the open window. “Breathe,” she told herself, and opened her eyes to look through the window. A cool breeze blew in, cooling her hot skin, She raised her hand to shield her eyes from the glow of sunlight streaming in, and through the shadows she thought she saw a Dove perched on a branch that hung near the window. It was so hard to focus with everything turning round before her eyes and she moaned, closing them to shut out the spinning world. After a few moments there was complete silence in her mind where, soon, the image of Mother Inion appeared. Focusing on this vision eased the spinning and, oh how lovely was the memory of Inion. Oh how lonely had Mna been for her Mothers and she thankfully surrendered to the glow of Inion’s presence, her heart open to the voice that spoke to her soul.
“Daughter, you are indeed Mother of my physical world-a strong, independent feminine Spirit. Yet, in your present state you are more vulnerable than you could ever be. I understand your loneliness, but you must not entertain these feelings at your table any longer. You know in your heart that you are never alone. And another will soon join you. Do you not remember the power that exists within your world? You must calm your restless spirit so that your unborn child may arrive in peace and harmony. You longed for a companion and I gave you Fireann. You wanted a child and the soul of Amhain was delivered. By your desire your family will increase yet again. This knowledge must be enough to sustain you.”
Inion held her daughter in the glow of Love for a long while, bringing Mna a release from the confusion and fear of her loneliness. As if awakening from a deep and restful sleep, she finally opened her eyes. Had it all been a dream? Once she would have known for certain but all she had known of their world had seemed to change so quickly. The one certainty she had was that the anxiety she had been feeling was replaced by a sharp clarity, the sure knowledge that she was right where she needed to be. Her mind was clear and once again free of doubt. Mna’s loneliness for her friends would have to wait. She threw her legs over the side of the bed, got up and walked out into the light of a glorious new morning….