Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
the story continues…
The desire to love and be loved is an integral part of our need to bear children. We see it all around us, in nature and among humankind. This desire is at the heart of Spirit and feeds the continuation of creation in all things. I hope you enjoy this portion of the novel. If you are reading for the first time, you can go to the Search bar and type in the book title for previous chapters. If you are kind enough to be following the book thread, I appreciate you and thank you so much. Please leave me some feedback or a message in the comments box. I am so happy to be here to write on another day, to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and the love of the universe in my life. This is indeed a roller coaster ride, but the thrills surpass the scary moments. We all struggle and are all the same, no matter how it seems on the surface. As we join the story, a plan has been put in motion to bring a new human life to Dohman, one that will hopefully unify the twin aspects of the soul which were separated at the time of the Original Thought, leaving a rift in the soul, an empty space that seems undeniably hungry….
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
XX Licking His Wounds
While the Light Beings in Eternity were busily planning the new addition of life to Dohman, they paid little attention to Ar’tine and his world. It was not for lack of Love; but the dark god had sequestered himself within the damp mists and gray vapors of his Dohman Eile, trying to quench his unending thirst and longing to forget the pain of destruction he had brought down upon his Creation. Although he would deny it throughout mankind’s existence, his soul was dying for the companionship of the others. It was a slow, agonizing death; and the more he tried to deny the speck of Light in his core, the greater the fire in his breast flared upward, searing all that he looked upon, all that he touched. In a moment of shallow victory, he found a way to neutralize this terror-by squelching all of his feelings. If he ignored the Light completely, he felt no lack from it. The only sensation which remained was bitterness, and it tasted sweet in the empty cup of loneliness that he had fashioned for himself.
Mor continually tried to reach the Son of Mac, to send Love and guidance, but the wall of flame he had engulfed himself in through his own rage was impenetrable. And still he harbored the mistaken perception that he was more. His lack of communion with his Eternal Family was replaced by long tirades which he displayed before the living things on his world. He created and destroyed life at will, but it was not enough. These creatures were too easy to control and provided no challenge to his power, leaving him unsatisfied in his victory. He consoled himself by watching the others from the shadows; and veiled from the Thought of Mac, Ar’tine was very aware of the plan to bring new life to Dohman. Wasn’t it his plan after all? Even Mor had implied that it was. They had taken away his chance to prove his greatness and were now trying to steal his glory. This dark and gnarled vine which sprouted anew on the tree of deception which was his core was the ugliest yet. This one he had unwittingly turned in upon his own Essence in the form of Self Deception.
If one could not lie to another, then perhaps it was best to simply lie to Oneself. It was so much easier deceiving oneself after all….then the rest would follow.
He watched from his black domain, observing the changes that were taking place on Inion’s World, changes even She had not noticed in her total immersion with Light to create this perfect human they so longed for. Through the murky depths of his Lake of Visions Ar’tine watched the Keepers of Dohman changing, becoming restless in their anticipation. They ventured out in separate ways more often now. His instincts were keen, for certainly the first couple was going through a change.
Fireann began feeling a strange sense of lack when M’na swam in the ocean, staying away from him for too long. What wonders did these places hold that He could not share with her? His need for appreciation and power was beginning to peer over the horizon of his soul. M’na herself recognized a new sensation that arose in her heart each time she saw his fallen face upon returning from one of these journeys. The empty space within her was whispering to be noticed, to be filled. It’s name was Guilt. Had she not always been there when Fireann needed her? Did he not run with the wolves and explore canyons among the mountains for many sun cycles before returning to lay by her side? She always tried to bring something back with her that would please him and he could share her experiences in this way. These gifts always pleased him, of course, and never was He angry or disappointed.
She never intended to abandon or to forget her beloved; but As the Daughter of Dohman, she felt the need and desire to live and move with all of its Creation. It was the darkness, the split, that told these lies to each. The shadow of loneliness that had grown since the Separation from Original Thought was manifesting in these two beautiful humans. It brought Ar’tine great satisfaction to see this breakdown in the Paradise that his rivals had created. And he could sense a window of opportunity beginning to open…
Mor also sensed the changes within Dohman’s first couple and decided it was time to move forward with their design. It did not wish any of Its Creations to suffer, although suffering was still experience, and It would not deny them any experience. It also knew of the Watcher from the shadowy realms of Eternity. Mor knew all.
XXI The Beginning
It was time for Inion to prepare Dohman’s first couple for the gift of life. Details of the plan to bring a new human life to Dohman were shared with M’na and Fireann. Most importantly, this new life brought with it the hope of rejoining both masculine and feminine into one, thus creating a being which knew no lack and would manifest in the flesh the same completeness that Mor knew in Spirit. Both were eager to welcome another human into their world although they were not certain how this would happen or when.
From the gray mists of Dohman Eile, Impatience overwhelmed the Watcher. “Just do something already,” sneered Ar’tine. This slack in Creation was annoying him greatly. He may have been forbidden to create from himself on his own world; but nothing could stop him from experiencing all of the other goings on in the Eternal realm-and on their precious Dohman. He thought how marvelous it would be to actually experience that place-so full of life, even though it was bright beyond tolerance. Perhaps someday, he thought; but what had been forbidden by Great Spirit would be considered not worthy of his mourning at this moment. He had his own ways of being involved, after all.
Ar’tine’s greatest secret was not that he longed to destroy and desecrate all that he touched. The truth was something he himself would find intolerable and so refused to acknowledge that his hidden desire was to be with the others, to be accepted as they were by Mor. Alas, the shadow that was now his soul covered up all true knowledge; all avenues to Original Thought and Unconditional Love were now damned up by tangled vines of emotion and ego reasoning. The one thing he readily admitted-the one Light he allowed to warm his cold Essence-was the Love he had felt for his As’me. He knew she was gone from him, and he had no idea if all thought of him would be erased from her consciousness. He held out hope that somewhere, in the very core of her, she would always have knowledge of him.
With nowhere to direct this love lost, misguided though it was, he turned it towards his own twin creation, the Goddess Bandia. It was another of his great Secrets. All that she had done and all that she was impressed him greatly, even overriding his jealousy of her relationship with Eternity’s family. How he wanted to implore her to join him on his dark world, to add her own touches to its Original beauty. The god of darkness longed to assure her that together they would quickly rise to greatness far exceeding that of their own Creators in the eyes of Great Spirit.
Still the delusion took center stage in his dream, the idea that anything was more in the Thought of Great Spirit. Even in his darkest moments, Ar’tine was loved by Mor, if not even more greatly at those times. Unfortunately for this dark God, the ugly sensations created by his lack, his emptiness, pleased himself more than the beings of Love and Light.
It would be his need for more of these experiences, along with his sense of abandonment that would keep him plunged in the shadows of his nightmare. At this point he didn’t know the difference between the sensation of Eternal Love and the ecstasy he felt when he was expressing great power.
On Dohman Bandia was preparing her children for the arriving new life that would be their prodigy. Until now they had moved upon the World at will, M’na shifting form to be with the creatures there as whatever being she desired; but neither had appreciated the physical differences between them. M’na was blessed with the Feminine energy of Inion while Fireann had been created with a stronger form and greater male energy from Mac, yet their bodies remained without specific gender form for it had not seemed necessary. Soon all of this would change, and they accepted this knowledge wilingly for they had no idea what it truly meant. Yet.
There was great consideration concerning the gender of this new child, for it would be human in all ways including personality, temperament and physical form. Should it be male or female? With the understanding that the new soul of this child would be as balanced as possible, it was decided that the natural process of life on Dohman would decide its physical gender. Then all would follow its course because this child would bring unity through Spirit, leaving its physical identity of little consequence.
Pure Thought with Unconditional Love, having faith in the Eternal. How quickly humankind would forget the faith of their Creators with just a little influence from Darkness.