This chapter is the beginning of my book, but by no means the beginning of the story, for within infinity there is no beginning or end. This is but one legend as told from the perspective of its … Continue reading In the Beginning/ForeverNever/The Dawn of the Dream
I am so sorry it has taken awhile to get back to the chapter and it was so good being with my dear friends of Domhan again. I hope you will enjoy this segment. If has been too long since … Continue reading The Rise/Forever Never
the passion thus be bound as
longing of the heart confounds
Nature is wise.. Continue reading Glorious Morning
As’me’s soul cried out in bitter protest from deep within the beast, but her pleas fell like rain on hot coals, quickly disintegrated by the heart of indifference that beat within her Father’s chest……. Continue reading The Rise of Vengeance
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
the story continues…
The desire to love and be loved is an integral part of our need to bear children. We see it all around us, in nature and among humankind. This desire is at the heart of Spirit and feeds the continuation of creation in all things. I hope you enjoy this portion of the novel. If you are reading for the first time, you can go to the Search bar and type in the book title for previous chapters. If you are kind enough to be following the book thread, I appreciate you and thank you so much. Please leave me some feedback or a message in the comments box. I am so happy to be here to write on another day, to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and the love of the universe in my life. This is indeed a roller coaster ride, but the thrills surpass the scary moments. We all struggle and are all the same, no matter how it seems on the surface. As we join the story, a plan has been put in motion to bring a new human life to Dohman, one that will hopefully unify the twin aspects of the soul which were separated at the time of the Original Thought, leaving a rift in the soul, an empty space that seems undeniably hungry….
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
XX Licking His Wounds
While the Light Beings in Eternity were busily planning the new addition of life to Dohman, they paid little attention to Ar’tine and his world. It was not for lack of Love; but the dark god had sequestered himself within the damp mists and gray vapors of his Dohman Eile, trying to quench his unending thirst and longing to forget the pain of destruction he had brought down upon his Creation. Although he would deny it throughout mankind’s existence, his soul was dying for the companionship of the others. It was a slow, agonizing death; and the more he tried to deny the speck of Light in his core, the greater the fire in his breast flared upward, searing all that he looked upon, all that he touched. In a moment of shallow victory, he found a way to neutralize this terror-by squelching all of his feelings. If he ignored the Light completely, he felt no lack from it. The only sensation which remained was bitterness, and it tasted sweet in the empty cup of loneliness that he had fashioned for himself.
Mor continually tried to reach the Son of Mac, to send Love and guidance, but the wall of flame he had engulfed himself in through his own rage was impenetrable. And still he harbored the mistaken perception that he was more. His lack of communion with his Eternal Family was replaced by long tirades which he displayed before the living things on his world. He created and destroyed life at will, but it was not enough. These creatures were too easy to control and provided no challenge to his power, leaving him unsatisfied in his victory. He consoled himself by watching the others from the shadows; and veiled from the Thought of Mac, Ar’tine was very aware of the plan to bring new life to Dohman. Wasn’t it his plan after all? Even Mor had implied that it was. They had taken away his chance to prove his greatness and were now trying to steal his glory. This dark and gnarled vine which sprouted anew on the tree of deception which was his core was the ugliest yet. This one he had unwittingly turned in upon his own Essence in the form of Self Deception.
If one could not lie to another, then perhaps it was best to simply lie to Oneself. It was so much easier deceiving oneself after all….then the rest would follow.
He watched from his black domain, observing the changes that were taking place on Inion’s World, changes even She had not noticed in her total immersion with Light to create this perfect human they so longed for. Through the murky depths of his Lake of Visions Ar’tine watched the Keepers of Dohman changing, becoming restless in their anticipation. They ventured out in separate ways more often now. His instincts were keen, for certainly the first couple was going through a change.
Fireann began feeling a strange sense of lack when M’na swam in the ocean, staying away from him for too long. What wonders did these places hold that He could not share with her? His need for appreciation and power was beginning to peer over the horizon of his soul. M’na herself recognized a new sensation that arose in her heart each time she saw his fallen face upon returning from one of these journeys. The empty space within her was whispering to be noticed, to be filled. It’s name was Guilt. Had she not always been there when Fireann needed her? Did he not run with the wolves and explore canyons among the mountains for many sun cycles before returning to lay by her side? She always tried to bring something back with her that would please him and he could share her experiences in this way. These gifts always pleased him, of course, and never was He angry or disappointed.
She never intended to abandon or to forget her beloved; but As the Daughter of Dohman, she felt the need and desire to live and move with all of its Creation. It was the darkness, the split, that told these lies to each. The shadow of loneliness that had grown since the Separation from Original Thought was manifesting in these two beautiful humans. It brought Ar’tine great satisfaction to see this breakdown in the Paradise that his rivals had created. And he could sense a window of opportunity beginning to open…
Mor also sensed the changes within Dohman’s first couple and decided it was time to move forward with their design. It did not wish any of Its Creations to suffer, although suffering was still experience, and It would not deny them any experience. It also knew of the Watcher from the shadowy realms of Eternity. Mor knew all.
XXI The Beginning
It was time for Inion to prepare Dohman’s first couple for the gift of life. Details of the plan to bring a new human life to Dohman were shared with M’na and Fireann. Most importantly, this new life brought with it the hope of rejoining both masculine and feminine into one, thus creating a being which knew no lack and would manifest in the flesh the same completeness that Mor knew in Spirit. Both were eager to welcome another human into their world although they were not certain how this would happen or when.
From the gray mists of Dohman Eile, Impatience overwhelmed the Watcher. “Just do something already,” sneered Ar’tine. This slack in Creation was annoying him greatly. He may have been forbidden to create from himself on his own world; but nothing could stop him from experiencing all of the other goings on in the Eternal realm-and on their precious Dohman. He thought how marvelous it would be to actually experience that place-so full of life, even though it was bright beyond tolerance. Perhaps someday, he thought; but what had been forbidden by Great Spirit would be considered not worthy of his mourning at this moment. He had his own ways of being involved, after all.
Ar’tine’s greatest secret was not that he longed to destroy and desecrate all that he touched. The truth was something he himself would find intolerable and so refused to acknowledge that his hidden desire was to be with the others, to be accepted as they were by Mor. Alas, the shadow that was now his soul covered up all true knowledge; all avenues to Original Thought and Unconditional Love were now damned up by tangled vines of emotion and ego reasoning. The one thing he readily admitted-the one Light he allowed to warm his cold Essence-was the Love he had felt for his As’me. He knew she was gone from him, and he had no idea if all thought of him would be erased from her consciousness. He held out hope that somewhere, in the very core of her, she would always have knowledge of him.
With nowhere to direct this love lost, misguided though it was, he turned it towards his own twin creation, the Goddess Bandia. It was another of his great Secrets. All that she had done and all that she was impressed him greatly, even overriding his jealousy of her relationship with Eternity’s family. How he wanted to implore her to join him on his dark world, to add her own touches to its Original beauty. The god of darkness longed to assure her that together they would quickly rise to greatness far exceeding that of their own Creators in the eyes of Great Spirit.
Still the delusion took center stage in his dream, the idea that anything was more in the Thought of Great Spirit. Even in his darkest moments, Ar’tine was loved by Mor, if not even more greatly at those times. Unfortunately for this dark God, the ugly sensations created by his lack, his emptiness, pleased himself more than the beings of Love and Light.
It would be his need for more of these experiences, along with his sense of abandonment that would keep him plunged in the shadows of his nightmare. At this point he didn’t know the difference between the sensation of Eternal Love and the ecstasy he felt when he was expressing great power.
On Dohman Bandia was preparing her children for the arriving new life that would be their prodigy. Until now they had moved upon the World at will, M’na shifting form to be with the creatures there as whatever being she desired; but neither had appreciated the physical differences between them. M’na was blessed with the Feminine energy of Inion while Fireann had been created with a stronger form and greater male energy from Mac, yet their bodies remained without specific gender form for it had not seemed necessary. Soon all of this would change, and they accepted this knowledge wilingly for they had no idea what it truly meant. Yet.
There was great consideration concerning the gender of this new child, for it would be human in all ways including personality, temperament and physical form. Should it be male or female? With the understanding that the new soul of this child would be as balanced as possible, it was decided that the natural process of life on Dohman would decide its physical gender. Then all would follow its course because this child would bring unity through Spirit, leaving its physical identity of little consequence.
Pure Thought with Unconditional Love, having faith in the Eternal. How quickly humankind would forget the faith of their Creators with just a little influence from Darkness.
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
2013 copyright all written and artistic composition and blog content
I wanted to post the next chapters of my novel for those who may have already begun the book. If you are reading for the first time and would like to read the previous 3 installments, they will be listed in the archives with the most recent showing in recent posts. Just look for the black and white bird. My desire is to share my story with anyone who is interested. After attempting to publish it the “traditional” way and beginning the entangled process of selling myself and my work, I decided to at least begin to publish it here, free of charge, to anyone who cares to invest the time and thought into reading it. I would appreciate any feedback or questions you may have. If nothing else, I hope to provoke thought, questions and a desire to share ideas. This is a work of fiction that is based on an idea. This idea was the result of many years of struggling with my traditional religious history and the death of my mother. In my quest to understand the world of sorrows and the offer of peace from Eternity, I have received my own sense of comfort from what I feel to be the source of all Comfort. It matters not what name you give it, only that you can recognize and accept its gift of Unconditional Love. The characters in my novel represent a tale of the first humans to walk upon a world and follows them as they discover the duality of their own nature and deal with the sense of loneliness they feel upon their perceived separation from Spirit. If you stick with me through this tale, you will learn of their talents, their hopes, their conviction, their desire and temptation and their ultimate understanding of their place in this illusion we call Life.
I hope you will rejoin me here as the god and goddess of the new worlds try to ease their own loneliness with the creation of new life there.
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
the story continues….
Inion was in other parts of Eternity, creating other Worlds-all magnificent, although not as beloved as her Dohman. Her own inner light felt diminished since the perceived attack from her twin’s creation and her connection with Bandia had grown dim as a result. She knew the goddess would care for her world in her mother’s absence. Inion allowed the cord of communication between them to be cut as she hid within the shadow of her great Sorrow; but now she would have to be made aware of the changes on Dohman.
Mor approached Its daughter with wisdom and love. “Have you lately communed with your daughter, my Inion? She has created something beautiful and unique on your Dohman, but has done so without your guidance. You must go to her at once and discover why she has moved in such a way. You must become present once more in the life of your Creations or there will be no balance.”
Mor spoke these words from the seat of Unconditional Love, understanding Its daughter’s world would be hungry for the same love which existed within her, a love it needed to survive. What the wounded Feminine soul heard, however, was the thought drawn from the well of emptiness inside, that voice of her newly formed perception which spoke more loudly than that of her sense of Truth. And it cried out, “Failure! You must repent, for you have disappointed your Father yet again. He will never Love you as He once did.” Quickly, she sought out the goddess Bandia.
Inion gazed upon her Dohman, seeing immediately what had taken place. Though her first thought was one of great joy at the sight of another lovely being on the world of Light, her inner emptiness demanded equal time. “She has caused Great Spirit to be angry with you,” it cajoled. “She must think she is greater than you, her own Mother.”
It was from that place of her own dark fear that she confronted the goddess, “My Daughter, what is this? What have you done? You were told never to create from within your own Essence and now you have done this without even communing with Great Spirit-or consulting your mother!”
Now another sensation arrived within her newly forming consciousness. It sprang from the core of her being and pushed the thoughts out before she could reconsider or stop them. Fear reigned supreme as in sudden anger she cried, “You have disobeyed me and brought shame in our Father’s eyes!”
(This, of course, was not true; for Mor had only Unconditional Love for all of Its creations. It was saddened by her misunderstanding)
Bandia was not completely surprised by her Mother’s disappointment, for she understood her error; but she was hurt and confused by her anger. This was not something they had shared before. It awakened her own newly arriving Ego, an Ego that would become as an empty chalice for Creation, always wanting new sensations to fill it, but never-oh never-being satisfied.
She felt a myriad of new emotion, from shame at knowing she had done as she was expressly forbidden to her own disappointment that her Mother had not even looked upon her lovely creation before condemning it as such a grave error. Bitterness became a guest in the house of her ego at that moment. And such company is never sweet.
Of course, Inion’s intent was never to create these wounds in her daughter’s soul, her love for Bandia being as great as Mor’s love for Its own Children. When she sensed the shift in her Goddess’s soul, she immediately withdrew into herself. She remembered her own transgression against her Father’s command and returned to the place of Light within. When she spoke to Bandia once more, it was with the Unconditional Love of Eternity. “My daughter, it truly is with much disappointment that I discover this deception from you; but let me see now what you have Created so that we can work together once more.”
Forgiven and full of joy, Bandia quickly moved to Dohman and found M’na swimming in the ocean with its graceful creatures. Those blue-green depths were quickly becoming her favorite place to be. The warm, fluid waters enveloped her and felt as a comforting memory long gone-that of floating in pure energy.
“M’na,” said the Goddess excitedly, “Inion would like to commune with you now.” Together they all joined, with Bandia as communicator and M’na in a deep meditation. While in this state she was able to see, hear and know her Mother Inion, the Creator of Dohman. It was a precious time for M’na and would herald the beginning of a wonderful trinity among them, the time that brought her a genuine sense of being whole.
Inion could not deny the glorious harmony that M’na brought to her world, the love felt by all living things in her presence, and how balanced everything seemed since last she looked upon it. Bandia had truly done a wonderful job in her creation. This new sensation, this Gratitude, overshadowed Inion’s previous anger; and they were at peace with one another once more. As the Light shone brightly within all of them, the empty space retreated. Now Inion grew to better understand Her own Father’s great Love for Her and for her Twin. Perhaps Mac, too, was experiencing the same thing within his realm and on his own World. She hoped so with all of her being..
Something very different was happening in Mac’s shadowy corner of Eternity. The tendril which had begun its climb upward within his own Essence had been inherited by his Son, this God of Dohman Eile. In him it was flourishing, welcomed by its host as Vibrancy, Vitality and more than anything else, Power.
“I grow weary of having only you to commune with!”, thundered Mac en Mor to his Creator. Mac had grown quite weary of his son. So much darkness in this Creation was draining to his own Essence. So he began to stay away from the place which started out to be his masterpiece, his trophy to win his Mother’s great Love and acceptance (that which he already possessed without homage or offering). He had begun creating other worlds but never again did he create from within his own Essence.
Mac had forbidden the god of his dark world to create from within himself at the express instruction of Mor. He did not want to anger his Mother again. (His perception remained fixed on the notion that anger was possible within the realm of Unconditional Love) In spite of the warning from his father, the God of Dohman Eile had his own desires. Cunning was a new branch on the prickly vine that climbed from the darkness now, and Mac en Mor was eager to test its strength. He was relentless in the pursuit of his goal and took a new approach.
“Did you know that your sister has been allowed to extend her own gifts to that of her Goddess daughter?” he goaded Mac. “What of your Mother in this? Why has She allowed Inion to share this power and not Her very own Son?”
Pride was great in this Creation, dark was the core of his Essence, and Ego was predominant in his nature. The Light was there, but miniscule because of Mac’s error in making it the last and almost forgotten part of his Son. In its diminished capacity Mac an Mor felt he could contain it, even use it if need be; but he vowed he would not allow it to rule him as it did His Creator and the others in Eternity. He would not share their emptiness and pain or seek the nectar of approval that never filled an empty cup. There was no power in it. He lusted for power. For control. The very thought of it filled him with excitement.
(Mor knew the thought of Mac en Mor but had great hope that his Son would contain this dark Creation. There were new and exciting sensations that arrived with him; but they threatened the Light, the very thing which defined Existence. This poor ignorant God could not, would not allow himself to understand this. Mor would watch and wait…)
Mac did not try to hide his confusion. “What do you mean? Inion did not speak of this to me.” In truth, Mac did not recall when he was last with his twin. Mac an Mor knew this and seized the opportunity to drive a wedge deeper between them, though cunning was his approach.
“Perhaps it is because she did not want you to feel..overlooked,” he consoled. “If you knew Mor had allowed your sister to share the gift of creation with the Goddess of her world, then surely you would have felt… well….slighted.”
What the dark god intended to nurture within his Father, of course, were the dark vines of Jealously that were newly sprouted within Mac’s Essence, fighting for control of his young consciousness. The Light within him cried out in protest as it urged him to go to his Twin and to Great Spirit, to ask questions before allowing this abomination-his own creation-to convince him of true deception.
Mac was confused by the duality of light and dark within his own Soul and, afraid that he might sacrifice one for the other, he fled his World in utter despair, calling out to the dark god as he left, “Go on! Create to your soul’s content. What care I for this dark world I have Created? It was condemned by my own Mother and now it is being transformed into Gan (without) by my very own Son. It matters not what I say or do any longer!”
These new sensations sprang into being as Helplessness and Desperation. Mac wanted no more to do with anything he had created on Dohman Eile and retreated to the farthest reaches of Eternity so that he could try to repair what was darkened within himself. He was still turning from the Source, still not comprehending that all he needed lay within as he forgot that His Creator was never more than a thought away from him, feeling all he felt and only loving him.
Mor would not deny Mac His experience and was thankful for Its Son’s desire to be rid of his darkness. Still, It was saddened that Mac did not make more of an attempt to repair the darkness within his own Creations, abandoning his Dohman Eile and leaving it in the control of this God, this twisted portion of Himself that now hoped to create more of the same-and with no supervision. These were not good sensations. These caused great rifts in the Light of Eternity. Great Spirit could always intervene if need be. For now It would watch. Experience was still good, but destruction was not. And so it remained….