This is for my friend, Karen, over at Standing at the Mouth of Truth, a wonderfully written, honest blog about truth in every day terms. How we live, how we communicate and how we accept the events of our lives. Check her site out when you have time. Here is another of my little friends, Karen! I once thought of doing a series but it never got beyond that. .. Remember…a little quiet meditation can make a world of difference in your journey….. Continue reading Crustacean Meditation….
Do you have a “worst photo ever”? Continue reading Exposed/Owning Yourself
Letting Go I never thought, in pain and blue, I would be letting go of you. A whim, a dream, a fantasy, How easily you let go of me. I do not blame, how could you see that you were all the world to me? My secret treasure hidden deep within my soul, where longings sleep. I watched a feather wafting by. The breezes took it way up high. All too late I tried to grasp, but empty air was all I clasped. High it rose against the sky, twirling in one last goodbye. Where angels smile and heaven knows … Continue reading Letting Go
YEP..me That was my constant state at the age of sixteen. Reflective, contemplative, dreamy. I didn’t find out until years later that what others saw when they looked at me was “sad” or “unhappy” or, better yet, “stuck up”. That one was a personal favorite and it gave me quite a chuckle. What in the entire world would I ever have to be stuck up about, I wondered. And how bizarre the game of perception is. If only they knew how tortured I was to even look them in the eye, to have to stand up in a full classroom … Continue reading Flashback/Still Me
Glow Hiding brilliantly in broad daylight does the magnificent exist among us. So quickly we stride through our paces that we overlook the light begging to uplift, bestowing its magical beauty upon our hearts as a gift. Our hearts, so full of pain and longing there seems little room for even a glint, Nay, not even a spark do we feel beneath the weight. Still it exists, it shines, it glows, it grows until all the world is alight with its fire, and we ask “Now where did that come from?” Angry beasts, raging winds, rolling waves and thunderous cloudbursts-Mother … Continue reading The Glow to Grow
PLEASE…. “Just tell me where to stand.” How often have I heard that phrase from my husband? It has been a favorite of his over the years, usually when applied to his work situation-or mine-or anyone’s where the environment seems to be in total chaos most of the time. You know the place. The rules change every day, and most of them are only observed by the rule keepers who didn’t need the rules in the first place. The rules don’t apply to the princesses on their cell phones or sitting behind their desks plotting out shopping excursions or printing … Continue reading Just Tell Me Where to Stand/Losing My Identity
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
the story continues…
The desire to love and be loved is an integral part of our need to bear children. We see it all around us, in nature and among humankind. This desire is at the heart of Spirit and feeds the continuation of creation in all things. I hope you enjoy this portion of the novel. If you are reading for the first time, you can go to the Search bar and type in the book title for previous chapters. If you are kind enough to be following the book thread, I appreciate you and thank you so much. Please leave me some feedback or a message in the comments box. I am so happy to be here to write on another day, to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and the love of the universe in my life. This is indeed a roller coaster ride, but the thrills surpass the scary moments. We all struggle and are all the same, no matter how it seems on the surface. As we join the story, a plan has been put in motion to bring a new human life to Dohman, one that will hopefully unify the twin aspects of the soul which were separated at the time of the Original Thought, leaving a rift in the soul, an empty space that seems undeniably hungry….
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
XX Licking His Wounds
While the Light Beings in Eternity were busily planning the new addition of life to Dohman, they paid little attention to Ar’tine and his world. It was not for lack of Love; but the dark god had sequestered himself within the damp mists and gray vapors of his Dohman Eile, trying to quench his unending thirst and longing to forget the pain of destruction he had brought down upon his Creation. Although he would deny it throughout mankind’s existence, his soul was dying for the companionship of the others. It was a slow, agonizing death; and the more he tried to deny the speck of Light in his core, the greater the fire in his breast flared upward, searing all that he looked upon, all that he touched. In a moment of shallow victory, he found a way to neutralize this terror-by squelching all of his feelings. If he ignored the Light completely, he felt no lack from it. The only sensation which remained was bitterness, and it tasted sweet in the empty cup of loneliness that he had fashioned for himself.
Mor continually tried to reach the Son of Mac, to send Love and guidance, but the wall of flame he had engulfed himself in through his own rage was impenetrable. And still he harbored the mistaken perception that he was more. His lack of communion with his Eternal Family was replaced by long tirades which he displayed before the living things on his world. He created and destroyed life at will, but it was not enough. These creatures were too easy to control and provided no challenge to his power, leaving him unsatisfied in his victory. He consoled himself by watching the others from the shadows; and veiled from the Thought of Mac, Ar’tine was very aware of the plan to bring new life to Dohman. Wasn’t it his plan after all? Even Mor had implied that it was. They had taken away his chance to prove his greatness and were now trying to steal his glory. This dark and gnarled vine which sprouted anew on the tree of deception which was his core was the ugliest yet. This one he had unwittingly turned in upon his own Essence in the form of Self Deception.
If one could not lie to another, then perhaps it was best to simply lie to Oneself. It was so much easier deceiving oneself after all….then the rest would follow.
He watched from his black domain, observing the changes that were taking place on Inion’s World, changes even She had not noticed in her total immersion with Light to create this perfect human they so longed for. Through the murky depths of his Lake of Visions Ar’tine watched the Keepers of Dohman changing, becoming restless in their anticipation. They ventured out in separate ways more often now. His instincts were keen, for certainly the first couple was going through a change.
Fireann began feeling a strange sense of lack when M’na swam in the ocean, staying away from him for too long. What wonders did these places hold that He could not share with her? His need for appreciation and power was beginning to peer over the horizon of his soul. M’na herself recognized a new sensation that arose in her heart each time she saw his fallen face upon returning from one of these journeys. The empty space within her was whispering to be noticed, to be filled. It’s name was Guilt. Had she not always been there when Fireann needed her? Did he not run with the wolves and explore canyons among the mountains for many sun cycles before returning to lay by her side? She always tried to bring something back with her that would please him and he could share her experiences in this way. These gifts always pleased him, of course, and never was He angry or disappointed.
She never intended to abandon or to forget her beloved; but As the Daughter of Dohman, she felt the need and desire to live and move with all of its Creation. It was the darkness, the split, that told these lies to each. The shadow of loneliness that had grown since the Separation from Original Thought was manifesting in these two beautiful humans. It brought Ar’tine great satisfaction to see this breakdown in the Paradise that his rivals had created. And he could sense a window of opportunity beginning to open…
Mor also sensed the changes within Dohman’s first couple and decided it was time to move forward with their design. It did not wish any of Its Creations to suffer, although suffering was still experience, and It would not deny them any experience. It also knew of the Watcher from the shadowy realms of Eternity. Mor knew all.
XXI The Beginning
It was time for Inion to prepare Dohman’s first couple for the gift of life. Details of the plan to bring a new human life to Dohman were shared with M’na and Fireann. Most importantly, this new life brought with it the hope of rejoining both masculine and feminine into one, thus creating a being which knew no lack and would manifest in the flesh the same completeness that Mor knew in Spirit. Both were eager to welcome another human into their world although they were not certain how this would happen or when.
From the gray mists of Dohman Eile, Impatience overwhelmed the Watcher. “Just do something already,” sneered Ar’tine. This slack in Creation was annoying him greatly. He may have been forbidden to create from himself on his own world; but nothing could stop him from experiencing all of the other goings on in the Eternal realm-and on their precious Dohman. He thought how marvelous it would be to actually experience that place-so full of life, even though it was bright beyond tolerance. Perhaps someday, he thought; but what had been forbidden by Great Spirit would be considered not worthy of his mourning at this moment. He had his own ways of being involved, after all.
Ar’tine’s greatest secret was not that he longed to destroy and desecrate all that he touched. The truth was something he himself would find intolerable and so refused to acknowledge that his hidden desire was to be with the others, to be accepted as they were by Mor. Alas, the shadow that was now his soul covered up all true knowledge; all avenues to Original Thought and Unconditional Love were now damned up by tangled vines of emotion and ego reasoning. The one thing he readily admitted-the one Light he allowed to warm his cold Essence-was the Love he had felt for his As’me. He knew she was gone from him, and he had no idea if all thought of him would be erased from her consciousness. He held out hope that somewhere, in the very core of her, she would always have knowledge of him.
With nowhere to direct this love lost, misguided though it was, he turned it towards his own twin creation, the Goddess Bandia. It was another of his great Secrets. All that she had done and all that she was impressed him greatly, even overriding his jealousy of her relationship with Eternity’s family. How he wanted to implore her to join him on his dark world, to add her own touches to its Original beauty. The god of darkness longed to assure her that together they would quickly rise to greatness far exceeding that of their own Creators in the eyes of Great Spirit.
Still the delusion took center stage in his dream, the idea that anything was more in the Thought of Great Spirit. Even in his darkest moments, Ar’tine was loved by Mor, if not even more greatly at those times. Unfortunately for this dark God, the ugly sensations created by his lack, his emptiness, pleased himself more than the beings of Love and Light.
It would be his need for more of these experiences, along with his sense of abandonment that would keep him plunged in the shadows of his nightmare. At this point he didn’t know the difference between the sensation of Eternal Love and the ecstasy he felt when he was expressing great power.
On Dohman Bandia was preparing her children for the arriving new life that would be their prodigy. Until now they had moved upon the World at will, M’na shifting form to be with the creatures there as whatever being she desired; but neither had appreciated the physical differences between them. M’na was blessed with the Feminine energy of Inion while Fireann had been created with a stronger form and greater male energy from Mac, yet their bodies remained without specific gender form for it had not seemed necessary. Soon all of this would change, and they accepted this knowledge wilingly for they had no idea what it truly meant. Yet.
There was great consideration concerning the gender of this new child, for it would be human in all ways including personality, temperament and physical form. Should it be male or female? With the understanding that the new soul of this child would be as balanced as possible, it was decided that the natural process of life on Dohman would decide its physical gender. Then all would follow its course because this child would bring unity through Spirit, leaving its physical identity of little consequence.
Pure Thought with Unconditional Love, having faith in the Eternal. How quickly humankind would forget the faith of their Creators with just a little influence from Darkness.
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion by Cheryl Pennington copyrighted written and artistic materials Welcome back! I am publishing more of my novel here in the hope that someone is enjoying it and it may bring a bit of entertainment or comfort to anyone who has ever felt alone. You are never alone. All too often those in the flesh can leave us feeling more empty than the comfort that comes from knowing there is a Source, a Power beyond our comprehension, which loves us without condition. The love of Spirit is timeless, tireless and ceaseless. If you are here for … Continue reading Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion-for Love of As’me
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
the next chapters
I am publishing my novel here in the hope that it will inspire others to explore their sense of self, reaching beyond what the mind whispers to the soul, to find the mirror of truth that reflects the true nature of that soul. Then it is possible to see the true beauty that is every one, each a separate piece of the All that Is. Only by remembering that we are one will we understand that to seek wholeness from any love outside of ourselves is a fruitless process. All that we need lies within, within each and within the All. There is no separation save the illusion of this physical life. The only true moment that exists is this one. The only real thing within it is Love.
I hope you stick with the story as it unfolds for as surely as we struggle and seek our own truths, the characters that come to live upon the world of Inion will know struggles and challenges, darkness and light. Share their adventure. Please leave me a comment if you read. I am open to any suggestions. Thanks! And if you are here for the first time, you can read the other book posts by looking for the black and white bird and the book title among the past posts.
Love and Light,
The Keeper of Dohman grows lonely…..
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
copyright all written and artistic content of this blog
Return of the Son
In confusion, Inion spoke earnestly to her Father. “But if it is so simple, why does he not just understand? Why does he not let the Light illuminate him so that he will feel whole and begin to create once more without fear?”
Great Spirit’s reply was again honest, although surprising to Inion, “Why don’t you join him in his meditation and healing? There is something within your own Essence which must be recognized for you also to feel complete.” Inion could not imagine what it was that her Father was talking about. She knew that she tried, once her had anger passed, to find Mac and reconcile with him; but he had withdrawn so deeply into the heart of the Eternal realm that she couldn’t reach him. And she couldn’t leave her World unattended…
Mor knew Its daughter’s thoughts and continued to try to spark her understanding, “Are you certain you are shed of your anger and disappointment over what happened on your Dohman? Just as Mac must recognize the Light within himself that is dimmed since the Original Separation, so too must you recognize the fracture that was left within yourself, the place that exists as a void. This void, even though very small, is what causes you to feel unnecessarily separated from Love and forced into isolation, even though you are never alone.”
Realizing the truth of Mor’s words, Inion cried, “No Father, I don’t want to recognize it! I try; but when I look closely, it seems as a shadow over my soul. I work to keep the darkness hidden-from others and from myself. I create from the light of Love, and all of my creations return that love to me.”
“Then go in peace my Daughter, and continue to Create. I want only what you desire for yourself in this existence we have begun together.” Mor was happy to hear her words but wondered about the wisdom in hiding from oneself.
Inion left her Father with one final question, spoken from a young soul’s ernest hope. “Will we ever feel whole again, Great Spirit?’
Disappointment; a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized. An act, or failure to act, that disappoints someone. It doesn’t seem so enormous when you put it that way, does it? We have all been disappointed at some time or other in our lives, some of us feeling as though disappointment lurks in every shadowy alley, around every dark corner and exists purely for the joy of dismantling our best efforts. The photo above represents a recent disappointment for me. It may not seem like much to anyone else; but when you love to take photos … Continue reading Disappointment and Hope/Failure Is Not a Dirty Word