Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
by Cheryl Pennington
2013 copyright all written and artistic composition and blog content
I wanted to post the next chapters of my novel for those who may have already begun the book. If you are reading for the first time and would like to read the previous 3 installments, they will be listed in the archives with the most recent showing in recent posts. Just look for the black and white bird. My desire is to share my story with anyone who is interested. After attempting to publish it the “traditional” way and beginning the entangled process of selling myself and my work, I decided to at least begin to publish it here, free of charge, to anyone who cares to invest the time and thought into reading it. I would appreciate any feedback or questions you may have. If nothing else, I hope to provoke thought, questions and a desire to share ideas. This is a work of fiction that is based on an idea. This idea was the result of many years of struggling with my traditional religious history and the death of my mother. In my quest to understand the world of sorrows and the offer of peace from Eternity, I have received my own sense of comfort from what I feel to be the source of all Comfort. It matters not what name you give it, only that you can recognize and accept its gift of Unconditional Love. The characters in my novel represent a tale of the first humans to walk upon a world and follows them as they discover the duality of their own nature and deal with the sense of loneliness they feel upon their perceived separation from Spirit. If you stick with me through this tale, you will learn of their talents, their hopes, their conviction, their desire and temptation and their ultimate understanding of their place in this illusion we call Life.
I hope you will rejoin me here as the god and goddess of the new worlds try to ease their own loneliness with the creation of new life there.
Forever Never/The Dawn of Illusion
the story continues….
Inion was in other parts of Eternity, creating other Worlds-all magnificent, although not as beloved as her Dohman. Her own inner light felt diminished since the perceived attack from her twin’s creation and her connection with Bandia had grown dim as a result. She knew the goddess would care for her world in her mother’s absence. Inion allowed the cord of communication between them to be cut as she hid within the shadow of her great Sorrow; but now she would have to be made aware of the changes on Dohman.
Mor approached Its daughter with wisdom and love. “Have you lately communed with your daughter, my Inion? She has created something beautiful and unique on your Dohman, but has done so without your guidance. You must go to her at once and discover why she has moved in such a way. You must become present once more in the life of your Creations or there will be no balance.”
Mor spoke these words from the seat of Unconditional Love, understanding Its daughter’s world would be hungry for the same love which existed within her, a love it needed to survive. What the wounded Feminine soul heard, however, was the thought drawn from the well of emptiness inside, that voice of her newly formed perception which spoke more loudly than that of her sense of Truth. And it cried out, “Failure! You must repent, for you have disappointed your Father yet again. He will never Love you as He once did.” Quickly, she sought out the goddess Bandia.
Inion gazed upon her Dohman, seeing immediately what had taken place. Though her first thought was one of great joy at the sight of another lovely being on the world of Light, her inner emptiness demanded equal time. “She has caused Great Spirit to be angry with you,” it cajoled. “She must think she is greater than you, her own Mother.”
It was from that place of her own dark fear that she confronted the goddess, “My Daughter, what is this? What have you done? You were told never to create from within your own Essence and now you have done this without even communing with Great Spirit-or consulting your mother!”
Now another sensation arrived within her newly forming consciousness. It sprang from the core of her being and pushed the thoughts out before she could reconsider or stop them. Fear reigned supreme as in sudden anger she cried, “You have disobeyed me and brought shame in our Father’s eyes!”
(This, of course, was not true; for Mor had only Unconditional Love for all of Its creations. It was saddened by her misunderstanding)
Bandia was not completely surprised by her Mother’s disappointment, for she understood her error; but she was hurt and confused by her anger. This was not something they had shared before. It awakened her own newly arriving Ego, an Ego that would become as an empty chalice for Creation, always wanting new sensations to fill it, but never-oh never-being satisfied.
She felt a myriad of new emotion, from shame at knowing she had done as she was expressly forbidden to her own disappointment that her Mother had not even looked upon her lovely creation before condemning it as such a grave error. Bitterness became a guest in the house of her ego at that moment. And such company is never sweet.
Of course, Inion’s intent was never to create these wounds in her daughter’s soul, her love for Bandia being as great as Mor’s love for Its own Children. When she sensed the shift in her Goddess’s soul, she immediately withdrew into herself. She remembered her own transgression against her Father’s command and returned to the place of Light within. When she spoke to Bandia once more, it was with the Unconditional Love of Eternity. “My daughter, it truly is with much disappointment that I discover this deception from you; but let me see now what you have Created so that we can work together once more.”
Forgiven and full of joy, Bandia quickly moved to Dohman and found M’na swimming in the ocean with its graceful creatures. Those blue-green depths were quickly becoming her favorite place to be. The warm, fluid waters enveloped her and felt as a comforting memory long gone-that of floating in pure energy.
“M’na,” said the Goddess excitedly, “Inion would like to commune with you now.” Together they all joined, with Bandia as communicator and M’na in a deep meditation. While in this state she was able to see, hear and know her Mother Inion, the Creator of Dohman. It was a precious time for M’na and would herald the beginning of a wonderful trinity among them, the time that brought her a genuine sense of being whole.
Inion could not deny the glorious harmony that M’na brought to her world, the love felt by all living things in her presence, and how balanced everything seemed since last she looked upon it. Bandia had truly done a wonderful job in her creation. This new sensation, this Gratitude, overshadowed Inion’s previous anger; and they were at peace with one another once more. As the Light shone brightly within all of them, the empty space retreated. Now Inion grew to better understand Her own Father’s great Love for Her and for her Twin. Perhaps Mac, too, was experiencing the same thing within his realm and on his own World. She hoped so with all of her being..
Something very different was happening in Mac’s shadowy corner of Eternity. The tendril which had begun its climb upward within his own Essence had been inherited by his Son, this God of Dohman Eile. In him it was flourishing, welcomed by its host as Vibrancy, Vitality and more than anything else, Power.
“I grow weary of having only you to commune with!”, thundered Mac en Mor to his Creator. Mac had grown quite weary of his son. So much darkness in this Creation was draining to his own Essence. So he began to stay away from the place which started out to be his masterpiece, his trophy to win his Mother’s great Love and acceptance (that which he already possessed without homage or offering). He had begun creating other worlds but never again did he create from within his own Essence.
Mac had forbidden the god of his dark world to create from within himself at the express instruction of Mor. He did not want to anger his Mother again. (His perception remained fixed on the notion that anger was possible within the realm of Unconditional Love) In spite of the warning from his father, the God of Dohman Eile had his own desires. Cunning was a new branch on the prickly vine that climbed from the darkness now, and Mac en Mor was eager to test its strength. He was relentless in the pursuit of his goal and took a new approach.
“Did you know that your sister has been allowed to extend her own gifts to that of her Goddess daughter?” he goaded Mac. “What of your Mother in this? Why has She allowed Inion to share this power and not Her very own Son?”
Pride was great in this Creation, dark was the core of his Essence, and Ego was predominant in his nature. The Light was there, but miniscule because of Mac’s error in making it the last and almost forgotten part of his Son. In its diminished capacity Mac an Mor felt he could contain it, even use it if need be; but he vowed he would not allow it to rule him as it did His Creator and the others in Eternity. He would not share their emptiness and pain or seek the nectar of approval that never filled an empty cup. There was no power in it. He lusted for power. For control. The very thought of it filled him with excitement.
(Mor knew the thought of Mac en Mor but had great hope that his Son would contain this dark Creation. There were new and exciting sensations that arrived with him; but they threatened the Light, the very thing which defined Existence. This poor ignorant God could not, would not allow himself to understand this. Mor would watch and wait…)
Mac did not try to hide his confusion. “What do you mean? Inion did not speak of this to me.” In truth, Mac did not recall when he was last with his twin. Mac an Mor knew this and seized the opportunity to drive a wedge deeper between them, though cunning was his approach.
“Perhaps it is because she did not want you to feel..overlooked,” he consoled. “If you knew Mor had allowed your sister to share the gift of creation with the Goddess of her world, then surely you would have felt… well….slighted.”
What the dark god intended to nurture within his Father, of course, were the dark vines of Jealously that were newly sprouted within Mac’s Essence, fighting for control of his young consciousness. The Light within him cried out in protest as it urged him to go to his Twin and to Great Spirit, to ask questions before allowing this abomination-his own creation-to convince him of true deception.
Mac was confused by the duality of light and dark within his own Soul and, afraid that he might sacrifice one for the other, he fled his World in utter despair, calling out to the dark god as he left, “Go on! Create to your soul’s content. What care I for this dark world I have Created? It was condemned by my own Mother and now it is being transformed into Gan (without) by my very own Son. It matters not what I say or do any longer!”
These new sensations sprang into being as Helplessness and Desperation. Mac wanted no more to do with anything he had created on Dohman Eile and retreated to the farthest reaches of Eternity so that he could try to repair what was darkened within himself. He was still turning from the Source, still not comprehending that all he needed lay within as he forgot that His Creator was never more than a thought away from him, feeling all he felt and only loving him.
Mor would not deny Mac His experience and was thankful for Its Son’s desire to be rid of his darkness. Still, It was saddened that Mac did not make more of an attempt to repair the darkness within his own Creations, abandoning his Dohman Eile and leaving it in the control of this God, this twisted portion of Himself that now hoped to create more of the same-and with no supervision. These were not good sensations. These caused great rifts in the Light of Eternity. Great Spirit could always intervene if need be. For now It would watch. Experience was still good, but destruction was not. And so it remained….